THREE IN ONE POST: Office Jargon explained, Art of asking, Saying no

The cubicle warrior's guide to office jargon

Let's think out of the box: Really means, "Can you creatively anemic people please come up with something?" The person who says, "Let's think out of the box" is usually desperate for a new idea and surrounded by people who are not known for generating ideas. So the phrase is actually an announcement that says, "I'm in trouble."

I need someone who can hit the ground running: Really means, "I am screwed." Because no one can hit the ground running. You need to at least assess what race you're in and who else is running.

Do you have the bandwidth? Note that bandwidth is not time. It is something else. If you ask someone "Do you have time?" you mean, "Am I a priority?" If you ask someone "Do you have bandwidth" you mean, "You seem like your brain is fried. Can you pull yourself together to do this for me?"

Let's hit a home run: "I'm desperate to look good. Even though the odds of a home run are slim, I'm banking on one because it's the only thing that'll save me." Something for all your sports fans to remember: If you have a bunch of solid hitters you don't need a bunch of home runs.

You and I are not on the same page: "Get on my page. Your page is misguided." No one ever says, "We're not on the same page, so let me work really hard to understand your point of view. If you want to understand someone else, you say, "Can you tell me more about how you're thinking."

I'm calling to touch base: "I want something from you but I can't say it up front." Or "I am worried that you are lost and I'm sniffing around for signs to confirm my hunch." Or "I'm calling because you micromanage me."

Let's run the numbers and see how they look: "I know they look bad on first blush. But the true use of Excel is to keep changing the formulas until you find a format that makes the numbers look good."

My plate is full: "Help I'm drowning," or "I would kill myself before I'd work on your project."

Let's close the loop: "Let me make sure I'm not going to get into trouble for this one."

Let's touch base next week: "I don't want to talk to you now," or "You are on a short leash and you need to report back to me."

Keep this on your radar: "This will come back to bite you. or me."

Geek to Live: The art of asking

Be specific.

"I tried to use your script and it didn't work. What am I doing wrong?"

This type of question is impossible to answer because it's too vague. What didn't work? What was the output? Was there an error? What was it? What happened exactly? If you need help, help the askee help you. Don't ask unless you can make your question clear - it'll save both of you a lot of back and forth.
Do your research.

"Do you know how someone might keep a to do list in a plain text file, like todo.txt?"

If it's obvious that you haven't put any elbow grease into researching your question yourself, folks are a lot less likely to help you - especially on mailing lists. Make sure you do a good faith run through the user guide and search the web before you waste other people's bandwidth on an issue you can solve yourself.

There are times when web search won't help because you don't know the right terms that others have used to describe the concept. In those cases, say up front, "My Google skills failed me" or "I searched a few different combinations of foo and bar, with no success" or "I called customer service and they couldn't help either."

Show that you at least tried. Just remember that busy smart people will only volunteer their time if you show that you're not just trying to con others into doing free research work for you.
Ask the right person.

"When I tried to do X on example.com I get this error. How come?"

When you find a helpful resource, your natural inclination is to ask them questions about everything. But, asking anyone other than someone AT example.com about an error there just doesn't make sense.

Make sure you're asking the right folks for the information you need. This goes triple for departments at the office and friends. Develop your own personal "board of experts" - or join a Q&A community like the excellent Ask MetaFilter. Then, when you have a question, after you've done your research and come up short, consider who in your life is best equipped to answer it with ease. Spare everyone else.
Make it worth the askee's while.

"I can't get your program to work and it's driving me crazy!!! Help me ASAP I have a deadline!!!"

When you're tired and frustrated and wrapped up in your own needs, it can be hard to step outside yourself and think about others. But the best way to get someone to help you out of the goodness of their heart is to offer them something in return.

"Hi, I want to use your software because it looks really interesting, and I'd like to write it up on my web site. But I'm having this problem which doesn't seem to be documented. Can you help me work it out?"

In that case, the askee has two motivations: the first is free publicity, and the second is the chance to work with a cooperative, calm tester to debug a problem and complete the software's documentation.

A favorite childhood story of mine, Stone Soup, is an excellent example of motivating others to help in action. Wikipedia says one of the key takeaways of the tale is:

If you want to get people to do something, don't tell them how desperately they are needed. Don't try to appeal to their sympathy and kindness. Instead, create the impression that you are giving them the opportunity to be part of your success.

20 Ways To Say No

I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS
* let people know when you have accepted other responsibilities
* no need to make excuses if you don't have any free time
* no one will fault you for having already filled your plate
I AM NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT
* you might be uncomfortable with any of a number of issues
* the people involved, the type of work, the morale implications, etc.
* this is a very respectful way to avoid a sticky situation
I AM NOT TAKING ON ANY NEW RESPONSIBILITIES
* you aren't saying that you will never help out again
* just that you feel your schedule is as full as you would like now
* understanding your limits is a talent to be expected
I AM NOT THE MOST QUALIFIED PERSON FOR THE JOB
* if you don't feel that you have adequate skills, that's okay
* it's better to admit your limitations up front
* the best way to avoid feeling overwhelmed down the road
I DO NOT ENJOY THAT KIND OF WORK
* life isn't about drudgery -- if you don't enjoy it, why do it?
* don't be afraid to let someone know you just don't want to
* someone else is bound to enjoy the work you don't
I DO NOT HAVE ANY MORE ROOM IN MY CALENDAR
* be honest if your schedule is filled
* "filled" doesn't have to mean really filled
* know when you are scheduled as much as you are willing and stop
I HATE TO SPLIT MY ATTENTION AMONG PROJECTS
* let people know that you want to do a good job for them
* but you can't when your focus is too divided or splintered
* you will be more effective if you focus on one project at a time
I HAVE ANOTHER COMMITMENT
* it doesn't matter what the commitment is
* it can even simply be time to yourself or with friends or family
* you don't have to justify -- you simply aren't available
I HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH THAT
* volunteering shouldn't mean learning an entirely new set of skills
* suggest that they find someone who has experience in that area
* offer to help out with something that you already know how to do
I KNOW YOU WILL DO A WONDERFUL JOB YOURSELF
* people often ask for help because they doubt their own abilities
* let them know that you have confidence they will succeed
* you are actually doing them a favor in the long run
I NEED TO FOCUS MORE ON MY PERSONAL LIFE
* don't be ashamed of wanting to spend time with your family
* having a strong family is an important priority in and of itself
* be willing to put your personal needs first
I NEED TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER RIGHT NOW
* often, you have to focus your energies on a work-related task
* you may have to give up some civic or community duties
* if you don't do it, someone else will take on the task
I NEED TO LEAVE SOME FREE TIME FOR MYSELF
* it's okay to be selfish -- in a good way!
* treat your personal time like any other appointment
* block off time in your calendar and guard it with your life
I WOULD RATHER DECLINE THAN DO A MEDIOCRE JOB
* know when you aren't going to be able to deliver a quality product
* the reason doesn't matter -- not enough time, wrong skills, etc.
* whatever the reason is enough for turning a request down
I WOULD RATHER HELP OUT WITH ANOTHER TASK
* saying no doesn't mean that you can't help at all
* if someone asks you to do something you really despise, refuse
* then offer to help with something you find more enjoyable
LET ME HOOK YOU UP WITH SOMEONE WHO CAN DO IT
* if you aren't available to help out, offer another qualified resource
* helping to connect people is a valuable service to offer
* make sure the person you refer will represent you well
NO
* sometimes it's okay to just say no!
* just say it in a way that expresses respect and courtesy
* leave the door open for good relations
NOT RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN DO IT LATER
* if you really want to help but don't have time, say so
* offer to help at a later time or date
* if they can't wait for you, they'll find someone else
SOME THINGS HAVE COME UP THAT NEED MY ATTENTION
* unexpected things happen that throw your schedule off
* accept that you may need to make a few adjustments
* it is temporary and you will have more time when life stabilizes
THIS REALLY IS NOT MY STRONG SUIT
* it's okay to admit your limitations
* knowing what you can handle and what you can't is a skill
* your time will be more efficiently spent on something you do well

How to manager your conversation with others in office or social setting

This is why I love Lifehacker.com!

Here is
Top 10 Conversation Hacks to let you survive your every day office or social life!

10. Feign sincerity with eye contact and repetition.
When you're just not feelin' it but you've got to look like you are, the Wired How-to wiki suggests ways you can feign sincerity. In short, make eye contact, echo what the person is saying to you back to them, and nod in understanding (even if you're not).


9. End a conversation with body language.
crossedarms.pngWhen that chatty co-worker just won't go away, use some of manager Brendan Connelley's techniques. My favorite is simply standing up (or crossing your arms, or speeding up to a "fast walk") to indicate it's time for that person to go and you're busy. In more desperate situations, grab your cell phone and say, "oh sorry, I've got to take this." Photo by SiBorg.


8. Ask sensitive questions indirectly to skip awkwardness.
When the info you need from someone is somewhat sensitive, check out journalist advice site MBToolbox's suggestions for asking delicate questions indirectly. Use the bluff ("the breakup must've been hard, huh?") or blame others ("so has anyone asked about your prison time?") or the indirect inquiry ("what year did you get divorced?") to broach sensitive topics with tight-lipped folks with more ease and less awkward silence.


7. Use silence to win arguments and nail a negotiation.
Lawyers and price hagglers know that a little silence can go a long way. When the other party offers a price, opt for a long pause to indicate hesitation, which might prompt them to go lower. In the case of arguments, prolonged silence may frustrate the other person—but it'll also make you look like the winner. (The evil winner, but the winner nonetheless.)


6. Soften critiques with the sandwich method.
crithamburger.png When you need to critique someone—whether it's a co-worker's presentation or a spouse's choice of outfit—start with a compliment, then mention your critique, then end on a positive note. The "criticism hamburger" gets the message across but softens the blow.
5. Say "no" gently—or say "yes, but...."
When someone's asking you to do something you just don't want to—or don't have the time—there are ways to say "no" that are polite and respectful and won't burn any bridges. OnlineOrganizing.com offers 20 "scripts" for turning down a request, from "I'm in the middle of several projects right now" to "I'm not the right person for that job." (I've found that suggesting someone else or offering a tip on the best way to proceed also helps a whole lot.) Master of attention-firewalling Merlin Mann says you can partially commit by qualifying your "yes" with specific boundaries around what you'll do (that also imply what you won't).


asking.png
4. Ask questions well.
When you need information, the people that have it need some reason to help you. Whether you're posting a question on a tech support forum or asking a colleague for help, here are some ways you can master the art of asking to get the answers you need.


3. De-code office jargon.
officejargon.png Client want to "touch base"? Manager want to "get on the same page"? Corporate euphemisms translate into pretty strong words, and you'll navigate your career a whole lot better if you recognize the ones that mean "get off your ass." Career adviser Penelope Trunk offers a non-nonsense dictionary for parsing office-speak.


2. "Pace and lead" an irate person.
angryguy.pngWhen you're dealing with someone who is absolutely freaking out—like a parent flipping out at the playground—use school administrator Bert Webb's "pace and lead" technique. Instead of remaining calm, match the other party's emotional intensity to show you're empathetic, then lead the complainant to a calmer level of discourse.


1. Become a human lie detector.
When you suspect someone isn't telling the whole truth, tune into their voice, eyes, and body language. Monster.com's Marty Nemko lists a few indicators that should trip your BS detector, like a sudden change in voice pitch, rate of speech, or "ums" and "ahs," a change in eye contact, and body position. Similarly, project manager Scott Berkun weighs in on how to detect bullshit.


Perhaps the greatest human behavior and communication hack is an awareness of what makes people tick. If you can offer someone something they want, they'll give you what you want in return.

10 Basic skills that you need for your success

Great article on 10 Skills You Need to Succeed at Almost Anything by lifehak.org.

1. Public Speaking
The ability to speak clearly, persuasively, and forcefully in front of an audience – whether an audience of 1 or of thousands – is one of the most important skills anyone can develop. People who are effective speakers come across as more comfortable with themselves, more confident, and more attractive to be around. Being able to speak effectively means you can sell anything – products, of course, but also ideas, ideologies, worldviews. And yourself – which means more opportunities for career advancement, bigger clients, or business funding.

2. Writing
Writing well offers many of the same advantages that speaking well offers: good writers are better at selling products, ideas, and themselves than poor writers. Learning to write well involves not just mastery of grammar but the development of the ability to organize one’s thoughts into a coherent form and target it to an audience in the most effective way possible. Given the huge amount of text generated by almost every transaction – from court briefs and legislation running into the thousands of pages to those foot-long receipts you get when you buy gum these days – a person who is a master of the written word can expect doors to open in just about every field.

3. Self-Management
If success depends of effective action, effective action depends on the ability to focus your attention where it is needed most, when it is needed most. Strong organizational skills, effective productivity habits, and a strong sense of discipline are needed to keep yourself on track.

4. Networking
Networking is not only for finding jobs or clients. In an economy dominated by ideas and innovation, networking creates the channel through which ideas flow and in which new ideas are created. A large network, carefully cultivated, ties one into not just a body of people but a body of relationships, and those relationships are more than just the sum of their parts. The interactions those relationships make possible give rise to innovation and creativity – and provide the support to nurture new ideas until they can be realized.

5. Critical Thinking
We are exposed to hundreds, if not thousands, of times more information on a daily basis than our great-grandparents were. Being able to evaluate that information, sort the potentially valuable from the trivial, analyze its relevance and meaning, and relate it to other information is crucial – and woefully under-taught. Good critical thinking skills immediately distinguish you from the mass of people these days.

6. Decision-Making
The bridge that leads from analysis to action is effective decision-making – knowing what to do based on the information available. While not being critical can be dangerous, so too can over-analyzing, or waiting for more information before making a decision. Being able to take in the scene and respond quickly and effectively is what separates the doers from the wannabes.

7. Math
You don’t have to be able to integrate polynomials to be successful. However, the ability to quickly work with figures in your head, to make rough but fairly accurate estimates, and to understand things like compound interest and basic statistics gives you a big lead on most people. All of these skills will help you to analyze data more effectively – and more quickly – and to make better decisions based on it.

8. Research
Nobody can be expected to know everything, or even a tiny fraction of everything. Even within your field, chances are there’s far more that you don’t know than you do know. You don’t have to know everything – but you should be able to quickly and painlessly find out what you need to know. That means learning to use the Internet effectively, learning to use a library, learning to read productively, and learning how to leverage your network of contacts – and what kinds of research are going to work best in any given situation.

9. Relaxation
Stress will not only kill you, it leads to poor decision-making, poor thinking, and poor socialization. So be failing to relax, you knock out at least three of the skills in this list – and really more. Plus, working yourself to death in order to keep up, and not having any time to enjoy the fruits of your work, isn’t really “success”. It’s obsession. Being able to face even the most pressing crises with your wits about you and in the most productive way is possibly the most important thing on this list.

10. Basic Accounting
It is a simple fact in our society that money is necessary. Even the simple pleasures in life, like hugging your child, ultimately need money – or you’re not going to survive to hug for very long. Knowing how to track and record your expenses and income is important just to survive, let alone to thrive. But more than that, the principles of accounting apply more widely to things like tracking the time you spend on a project or determining whether the value of an action outweighs the costs in money, time, and effort. It’s a shame that basic accounting isn’t a required part

of the core K-12 curriculum.

Building your team for your own startup

Mashable did it again. Check out Startup Hacks: Seven Ideas for Building Your Team

Seven ideas for building your startup team:


1. Hire like-DNA

Like DNA doesn’t necessarily mean like personalities. Hire people who get it, who see the world the same, but that have complementary skills. There’s an old saying that “it takes all kinds,” but don’t take that too literally. If you do, you’ll have analysis paralysis and you won’t accomplish anything in a timeframe that matters.

2. Too many chiefs

Don’t hire too many execs; being top heavy isn’t fun. It comes with egos, turf wars, high expense to your cash and cap table. A VP level role must be severely justified. Just because someone is the first employee, doesn’t mean they’re a VP. And just because someone’s a founder, doesn’t mean they’re a VP either. While we’re here, “founder” is not a job title, so avoid behaving as if it were.

3. Build a low fat company

People tend to over-hire so that they can scale to meet the demands of a hockey stick business that’s coming any day now. Don’t hire until it’s clear you have one of those hockey stick situations. You’ll burn less venture, social and emotional capital. The more bodies, the more drama and associated management. The fewer bodies, the less of that and likely the more you get done. You’ll be able to make decisions faster and implement them even faster. Understand, that in the early stages of a company, getting small wins is key. Momentum is like that: the sum of the small wins yields the bigger win, so on and so forth.

4. Be scrappy and hire scrappy

It’s the only way to fly in this era. Scrappy people find a way, they create momentum, they make things happen, they thrive on roadblocks, they don’t read the manual, they figure things out, they see the forest and the trees, they find openings in the field, they try fast and fail fast, but apply lessons learned quickly.

5. Can you feel it?

Chemistry is so, so, so important. You need to be able to WANT to have a drink or a meal with the people on your team. You need to be able to call B.S. at times, and for your teammates to not take things personally. You need to have personal and company alignment of interests. This level of engagement is only had with strong chemistry.

6. Hire in tribes

If you can find people that have enjoyed and had success working together in the past, keep them together. You can’t buy that. It’s like an instant catapult, and there’s no substitute.

7. Don’t hire (or partner with) your friends (for friendship sake)

Make sure there’s a major fit to the task or vision, otherwise you put a friendship on the line - and that can only go one of two ways. I have a friend that to this day is hurt because I didn’t ask him to join a company I started. Truth was, we had a good chemistry friendship, but that didn’t qualify for a good chemistry business venture. I’m just glad to still have the friendship.

Maverick's Startup Rules

Maverick put together his rules to be successful in the startup: A Couple of My Rules for Startups.

1. Don't start a company unless its an obsession and something you love.

2. If you have an exit strategy, its not an obsession.

3. Hire people who you think will love working there.

4. Sales Cures All. Know how your company will make money and how you will actually make sales.

5. Know your core competencies and focus on being great at them. Pay up for people in your core competencies. Get the best. Outside the core competencies, hire people that fit your culture but are cheap

6. An expresso machine ? Are you kidding me ? Shoot yourself before you spend money on an expresso machine. Coffee is for closers. Sodas are free. Lunch is a chance to get out of the office and talk. There are 24 hours in a day, and if people like their jobs, they will find ways to use as much of it as possible to do their jobs.

7. No offices. Open offices keeps everyone in tune with what is going on and keeps the energy up. If an employee is about privacy, show them how to use the lock on the john. There is nothing private in a start up. This is also a good way to keep from hiring execs who can not operate successfully in a startup. My biggest fear was always hiring someone who wanted to build an empire. If the person demands to fly first class or to bring over their secretary, run away. If an exec wont go on salescalls, run away. They are empire builders and will pollute your company.

8. As far as technology, go with what you know. That is always the cheapest way. If you know Apple, use it. If you know Vista... ask yourself why, then use it. Its a startup, there are just a few employees. Let people use what they know.

9. Keep the organization flat. If you have managers reporting to managers in a startup, you will fail. Once you get beyond startup, if you have managers reporting to managers, you will create politics.

10. NEVER EVER EVER buy swag. A sure sign of failure for a startup is when someone sends me logo polo shirts. If your people are at shows and in public, its ok to buy for your own folks, but if you really think someone is going to wear your Yobaby.com polo you sent them in public, you are mistaken and have no idea how to spend your money

11. NEVER EVER EVER hire a PR firm. A PR firm will call or email people in the publications, shows and websites you already watch, listen to and read. Those people publish their emails. Whenever you consume any information related to your field, get the email of the person publishing it and send them an email introducing yourself and the company. Their job is to find new stuff. They will welcome hearing from the founder instead of some PR flack. Once you establish communications with that person, make yourself available to answer their questions about the industry and be a source for them. If you are smart, they will use you.

12. Make the job fun for employees. Keep a pulse on the stress levels and accomplishments of your people and reward them. My first company, MicroSolutions, when we had a record sales month, or someone did something special, I would walk around handing out 100 dollar bills to salespeople. At Broadcast.com and MicroSolutions, we had a company shot. Kamikaze. We would take people to a bar every now and then and buy one or 10 for everyone. At MicroSolutions, more often than not we had vendors cover the tab. Vendors always love a good party :0

Great way to promote your business

Best of all, they are free!

10 Ways to Promote a Business Online for Free

Tips for technical interview

Interesting article for you to Hacking the Technical Interview. Read on...

How to use NLP, Hypnosis and other Jedi Mind tricks to land the exact job that you want

NLP or Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a rogue branch of pschylogy that is based on the premise that language and communication can be used to influence people. Using these skills in a technical interview would produce remarkable results.

Some of the tools and techniques that can be used to influence the outcome of a technical job interview are:

< Syncing >

People like people who are like themselves. Syncing is way by which you can establish deep rapport with anyone by mimicking their physiology. By sitting in the same posture, nodding in the same way, breathing at the same rate, you can create a strong connection with the interviewer.

< Anchoring >

Spatial Anchoring is a powerful way to associate all the positive feelings to you and negative feelings to the rest of the candidates who are being interviewed.

< Footprinting >

Footprinting allows you to exactly know what qualities the interviewer are looking for and how to position yourself as the ideal candidate.

Great post mortem story of failed web 2.0 company (Monitor110)

There are great lessons to be learned and followed if you want to success in web 2.0 company. Monitor110: A Post Mortem does not provide formula for success but it does provide great insight to what went wrong for Monitor110.

Full quote as follows:

Turning Failure into Learning

Writing a post mortem is hard, particularly when the result is failure: a failed deal; a failed investment; a failed concept. That said, without a post mortem, without deep reflection, honesty and introspection, how can we get better and do better the next time? Quite simply, we can't. My involvement with Monitor110, as an investor, Board member and leader, was one of the most interesting and informative experiences of my life. I learned about areas I never dreamed of. I worked with a terrific group of young, exceptionally bright people who believed in the vision. Ultimately, we failed. But why did we fail, and what could we have done differently? Some of the stuff is pure 20:20 hindsight. These observations aren't worth much. But the interpersonal dynamics, the issues of organizational structure, the need to change strategy in light of new information, the relationship with key investors, all of these are very instructive. I will endeavor to be as honest and candid as possible.

Let me say that I deeply respect everybody involved with Monitor110 from the original founder, Jeff Stewart, to our investors, employees and customers. Everyone tried very hard to make things work, and this post is not an indictment of anyone. There are no "bad actors" in this story. But a confluence of factors made success an uphill struggle.

The Seven Deadly Sins

While we certainly made more than seven mistakes during the nearly four-year life of Monitor110, I think these top the list.

1. The lack of a single, "the buck stops here" leader until too late in the game
2. No separation between the technology organization and the product organization
3. Too much PR, too early
4. Too much money
5. Not close enough to the customer
6. Slow to adapt to market reality
7. Disagreement on strategy both within the Company and with the Board

A Little Background

I was initially approached in early 2005 by Jeff Stewart, who had the original idea for Monitor110. It was a compelling idea. The thesis: more and better information is being put out on the Internet every day, information that can be valuable to Institutional investors who are constantly looking for an edge. And these investors were not very sophisticated about how to best access this information; Monitor110 would use technology to help them get that edge. Jeff and a few guys had hacked together a version 1.0 of the system, which was based on a boolean matching engine with rules corresponding to each company and investment theme. It was fast. It worked ok. We spent some time working with PubSub, who had built a scalable matching engine but was not focused on the financial services industry.

By mid-2005 the system worked, but spam was becoming more prevalent and caused the matching results to deteriorate, e.g., too much junk clogging the output. Around the same time we started to dig into natural language processing and the statistical processing of text, thinking that this might be a better way to address the spam issue and to get more targeted, relevant results. This prompted us to not push version 1.0, instead wanting to see if we could come up with a more powerful release using NLP to mark the kick-off. In retrospect, this was a big mistake. Mistake #5, to be precise. We should have gotten it out there, been kicked in the head by tough customers, and iterated like crazy to address their needs. Woulda, shoulda, coulda. Didn't.

An Unusual Leadership Structure

The idea was that Jeff was the technology guy and I was the business guy. Jeff focused on technology and product and I focused on fund raising, HR, controls and client access (given my Wall Street and hedge fund rolodex). On paper, made sense. Jeff was a successful three-time entrepreneur, I was an experienced senior Wall Street executive. The problem was, however, that when it came time to make hard decisions the two-headed structure really didn't work. It was a technology company working to solve a complex problem, and ultimately technology dominated the discussion. Ultimately, we ended up building something that the business side was not happy with, which made selling it difficult. An indication of Mistake #2. Neither Jeff nor I had the power, real or perceived, to simply change direction. The Board was supportive of this management structure. This was also a mistake. Mistake #1.

A Real Product versus a Science Project

We talked about "release early/release often," but were scared of looking like idiots in front of major Wall Street and hedge fund clients. Is it better to wait a bit before releasing to have a more compelling product or to begin getting feedback on a less impressive offering? We chose #1; in retrospect I think we should have chosen #2. By choosing to wait we lost our intimacy with the customer (Mistake #5 again), falling into the classic (as a "green" entrepreneur I didn't know this, but as a seasoned four-year venture investor I know this now) trap of pursuing a "science project," not building a commercially salable product. Dumb. Another problem: technology and product management were effectively bundled together, with the same decision-makers for both. This was another crucial error, #2 again. Instead of having product management as the advocate for the customer and the product evangelist, we had technology running the show in a vacuum. Huge mistake. This allowed us to perpetuate the science project for much, much longer than we should have. There were no checks-and-balances built into the system. This was a recipe for failure. I intuitively knew it then but as an inexperienced entrepreneur didn't feel empowered to act. Really, really stupid. After 20 years of making consistently good business decisions why didn't I throw a fit and and be more assertive in communicating my concerns? No good answer here.

And these bad behaviors were reinforced by an unplanned event that sharply impacted our psyche: being on the front page of the Financial Times. It is hard to call it a mistake since we didn't seek to get such exposure, but I put it down as Mistake #3. To be honest, this single fact was a very meaningful factor in our failure. It raised the level of expectations so high that it made us reluctant to release anything that wasn't earth-shattering. It was also catalyst for us raising our last and largest round of capital. So the net effect was that it enabled to raise all this money that kept us far from the customer. Truth be told, we were probably afraid of customers at this point because we didn't want to disappoint them or look bad. Oh, we'd build something they'd love. We just wouldn't show it to them until it was done. Ugh. Just so stupid.

Too Much Money

Too much money is like too much time; work expands to fill the time allotted, and ways to spend money multiply when abundant financial resources are available. By being simply too good at raising money, it enabled us to perpetuate poor organizational structure and suboptimal strategic decisions. Mistake #4. We weren't forced early on to be scrappy and revenue focused. We wanted to build something that was so good from the get-go that the market would simply eat it up. Problem was, with all that money we hid from the market while we were building, almost ensuring that we would come up with something that the market wouldn't accept. And then there were technology issues that came up along the way, very substantive issues, that because of so much money we simply didn't face into nearly fast enough. And this drove a wedge in the company between those that were more plugged into the market (and felt we weren't building the right thing or addressing the data issues the right way) and those who were building the product (and felt very convinced that what they were building was responsive to the market). I would almost argue that too much money enabled the other six mistakes to be made again and again and again. Seems counter-intuitive, right? It's not. And believe me, I am super sensitive to this issue now as an investor. If a company wants to raise significantly more money than I think they need to get to revenue, I push back. Hard.

Investor Expectations versus Market Reality

We raised money based on a vision of a scalable web portal, a tool that would eventually be the web-enabled side of Bloomberg. We never believed we'd replace Bloomberg, Reuters or Thomson for market data and mainstream news, but that we'd eventually become a necessary part of the Institutional investor research mosaic. We were positioned as a technology company, not as an alternative research provider or a services business. And it was the deep belief in Monitor110 as a pure technology company that created a rift between the business side of the company and powerful members of the Board. Mistakes #6 and #7, as you'll soon see.

We did an angel round in the latter part of 2005 followed by an institutional round early in 2006, enough money, we thought, to help us build the new version 1.0 of the product. We then did another institutional round in Q3 2006 to further execute against this vision, because the money was offered to us on a pre-emptive basis and around six months earlier than we were planning to do a raise. The new release would be whizzy, fast, comprehensive and use all that neat technology to analyze unstructured data in real time, and to score each data element by reputation and relevance. Easy to filter, discover and analyze. Super cool, right? Sure. Problem was, we started out trying to analyze most of the dynamic web (probably up to 100 million sources by now) in real-time, and using technology (NLP, pattern matching, etc.) to do the filtering, indexing and categorization. This was no mean engineering feat. We had a very, very large and complex back-end. And even with this, the quality of the data coming through to the end-user was just not that good. Too much spam, still. Duplicate posts. Sometimes mis-categorized. Difficulty applying our reputation algorithms. Not good.

Those closer to the customer wanted to effectively chuck this approach and to build up a high-value corpus of data from the bottom up, using our deep knowledge of the source universe to assemble a body of data from publishers of high reputation. Really more akin to a "Bloomberg for the Web" than the original product, as the sources would be of high-quality and indexed correctly. They also wanted to build a research capability, where a desk could generate customized reports for clients leveraging our technology and data. But making this fundamental change to our approach towards data and the business model resulted in a fight. Almost a jihad, where certain parts of the company were vehemently in favor of changing our approach while others said "improvement to the current system is right around the corner." This could only happen because of Mistakes #1 and #2, where nobody could pound the table and say "this is the way we're going to do it and here's why," nor could the business side simply say "this is what our clients want. This is why we should do it." We were one big, passionate, driven, dysfunctional family. This argument played out over months and months, and cost us an enormous amount of money. Eventually we did change our approach to data, but it was a fight that spiritually damaged the company and morale and had a financial impact that substantially depleted our coffers.

And in Conclusion

The good news for me personally is that I now invest in a way that actively seeks to avoid the seven deadly sins listed above, and the performance of my portfolio companies bears this out. But I simply wasn't smart enough or experienced enough to see all of these mistakes or to feel empowered to do something about them until it was too late. I would like to thank all of our investors for having the confidence in us to pursue the Monitor110 vision, and I'm sorry that we weren't financially successful. I'd also like to thank the people with whom I worked during my tenure at Monitor110. Not a bad apple in the lot. Smart, hard-working, highly motivated professionals. They will invariably do extremely well in their post-Monitor110 lives.

The market for alternative information and tools is very, very challenging, and the current market environment isn't making it any easier. But there are clear needs out there that should and will be addressed. I will write a post on the alternative information market at a later time. Thanks for listening.

The know how of hiring the best!

Small Business Trends puttogether article on How to Hire the Best (for the least expense)

Great article to follow through to maximize your dollar for the quality employees.

SET THE STAGE

• STEP 1: Clear, Precise, Thorough Job Description.

Make absolutely sure this is your first step. Appropriate levels of detail vary for each job. Include the need that’s solved with this person’s hire. It’s impossible to measure their success, and yours for their hire, without it. Include their incentives. Do not proceed to go before this is completed.

Your goal is clear now. The next step is made easier.

• STEP 2: Clear, Precise, Job Qualifications.

The details make the difference here, too. Your work environment, the setting, their workspace, personality of their colleagues…all must be included along with specific task-related skills necessary to perform the tasks of the job. You’ll hire the person that fits your needs, stated or not. The purpose here is to state them clearly, for everyone’s acceptance.

• STEP 3: TOE the line.

o Transparent. You’ll be rewarded with greater engagement, participation, input and…forgiveness as you make this recruiting process transparent for all. Tell everyone, tell them repeatedly and put it in writing. And demand the same of everyone else. Small companies usually are at an advantage here. But this is a double-edged sword.

o Openness. Keep all parties informed, all to all, on the progress of each step in this recruiting process. It’s time-consuming if your time horizon is very short. Otherwise, it’s obvious this is an investment whose immediate return comes in the form of …

o Engagement. The holy grail of small business success. Recruiting and hiring is a perfect opportunity to create another layer of engagement with the current members, with the future member.

Everyone now knows when and what you want to hire. And why.

And they know they’re engaged in the process.

Who and Where are the next questions. Who has the qualifications? Where do you find them?

PERFORM

• STEP 1: Look Within.

The first place, usually the best place, for all your company’s solutions rests internally. That’s everyone in your company: your employees, your colleagues. It’s their evangelism that’s brought your team together. Their evangelism brings your customers to you. Look to them. They know best how to solve your company’s needs. They’ll know best who will work best.

o Note: Some company circumstances allow customers and partners/vendors to be included at this stage. I’d label that step 1A. Do it only A. if your relationships make it possible; B. after you’ve asked, transparently, your closest confidantes: your employees.

• STEP 2: Evaluate Within.

Vet the potential candidates internally before contacting any directly. This is most important in any small, close-knit community, whether it’s geographical or professional. This step will save time, money and embarrassment for all involved.

• STEP 3: Create a single point of contact.

Identify one person to contact any potential candidates after being vetted internally first. This respects the confidentiality of the candidates, avoids conflicting messages and saves everyone time. Let this person manage the interactions (interview follow-up, additional interviews) with the candidates. It can be the hiring manager. You can also use this process to test the capabilities of a promising member of your company.

EXPANDING THE SEARCH.

You’ve been unable to hire your desired candidate. Maybe, you’ve even interviewed one or two with no success. But any possible candidates for further review have been eliminated.

Now, what? What are your options?

• Ads? Be prepared for an onslaught of unqualified emails, resumes and phone calls.

If you must use an ad, I’d encourage you to keep the name of your company confidential. Competitors don’t need to know. Idle and incorrect gossip is kept to a minimum.

• Recruiters?

Be careful. And I say that having been a recruiter for corporate bankers back in the day. A top-notch, professional, recruiter with high levels of integrity can bring added-value to your company with each search they handle. They can find better candidates, they can do a better job of screening candidates, they can focus your time on meeting only the best of the candidate pool.

Unfortunately, it’s a minority of recruiters who fit this bill. No offense. But the potential for conflicts of interest, the lack of any enforced standards, the lack of loyalty…all increase the risk of an expensive and unproductive experience.

IF…you choose a recruiter, make sure it comes recommended from a trusted source. And, follow these recommendations:

o Verify their universe of candidates? What companies, competitors, do they have an existing relationship? This is the list from which they cannot recruit candidates for your job. The bigger the list, the smaller pool of candidates to draw from.

o Testimonials. Do NOT move forward without 5-10-15 wonderful testimonials.

o Expenses. Don’t pay them…unless it’s a very high-level position that requires a high-level of personal, confidential handling and it’s a limited universe of candidates.

o Maximum fee. Most recruiters are compensated based on a percentage of the salary of the candidate you hire from their recommendation. That incentivizes them to encourage you to pay more. Fix a maximum fee, regardless of the candidate’s eventual salary.

o Timelines and deadlines. Get them in writing. Hold them accountable with penalties for non-performance.

• Two potential resources.

I’ve used neither. But if I’ve told you to NOT use a recruiter…and you’re out of candidates…I should offer a solution.

o New-Hire.

I chose this company in recent weeks as my Small Business Resource of the Week. I’ve met the CEO, Chuck Smith. He came recommended by Steve MacGill, CEO and founder of Peersight Online. The testimonials for New-Hire were plentiful and their responses were near immediate and universally enthusiastic. I had created a partnership with them while CEO at another company.

Their key is that not only will they work with you to craft the text of your and work to place your ads for maximum responses, but they have an online application that lets you create a screening questionnaire and filter the candidates based on their answers. This let spend time only with those candidates you want to meet.

Chuck’s had many years in the recruiting and hiring business. And if you really, really want a recruiter they offer that service also.

o Hire Insight.

If I didn’t know New-Hire, I’d talk with Chad Hayward at Hire Insight. We’ve exchanged emails. I like his approach:

In terms of fishing or farming, the key is treating the process like a marketing activity (see http://blog.hireinsightselect.com/?p=12 ). Basically, this means developing an employer brand and designing appealing materials, such as postings, around that brand (i.e., “why would someone want to work for you?”). Of course, then there is the need to find the right places to market that job (generic job boards are not the only option, and is often not best); maybe we could offer suggestions on where readers could post vacancies.

In summary, I hope some of this helps clarify some steps to take to insure you recruit the Best Talent for the least expense.

The Best …for the Least. (It should be every small company’s motto in every thing they, we, do. It’s an easy way to A. be a stand-out; B. keep the cash-flows positive.)

Best motivational article I have ever read!

7 Habits to Master the Art of Winning against the Odds is the best motivational article I have ever read. It give you the how the slump happens to how to overcome the problem you are facing.

Success in life is determined by your ability to go from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
~ Winston Churchill

I can help take someone from failure to success but I can’t take them from excuses to success because if you’re making excuses you haven’t yet realized where the real problem lies.
~ John Maxwell

The main idea behind it are following 7 habits:

1. Learn to accept responsibility for your actions.
2. Admit your mistakes.
3. Develop mental toughness.
4. One goal at a time.
5. Develop your inner self.
6. Focus on what you can control.
7. Never stop learning.

Lunis Torvalds is funny guy. Top 10 quote list

Linus is definitely a great guy and he has quote a bit of humor as well!

The 10 Best Linus Torvalds Quotes

1. “Software is like sex: it's better when it's free.”

2. “Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems.”

3. “My name is Linus, and I am your God.”

4. “See, you not only have to be a good coder to create a system like Linux, you have to be a sneaky bastard too.”

5. “The Linux philosophy is 'Laugh in the face of danger'. Oops. Wrong One. 'Do it yourself'. Yes, that's it.”

6. “Some people have told me they don't think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they have never seen a angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100 mph.”

7. “Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work, yet getting the work done.”

8. “When you say, ‘I wrote a program that crashed Windows,’ people just stare at you blankly and say, ‘Hey, I got those with the system, for free.’”

9. “I don't doubt at all that virtualization is useful in some areas. What I doubt rather strongly is that it will ever have the kind of impact that the people involved in virtualization want it to have.”

10. “Now, most of you are probably going to be totally bored out of your minds on Christmas day, and here's the perfect distraction. Test 2.6.15-rc7. All the stores will be closed, and there's really nothing better to do in between meals.”

Browser Add-On Business?

Is it really plausible? It is hard to tell and it's in the gray area where it depends on many other factors. ReadWriteWeb have published interesting article Can Browser Add-ons Be Businesses?

Conclusion is as follows:

Browser add-ons are increasingly interesting ways to reach consumers. Since the browser is the most used application on the desktop and major browsers are platforms, businesses are looking for opportunities to reach consumers through this new channel. Better than desktop applications, browser add-ons are light and update automatically.

As with any vertical business, only a few add-ons can become real businesses. The competition is tough and the business models have not been mapped out that well. Yet if there's a shot at reaching users via a download, browser add-ons seem to be it.

Productivity TIP - Priority

Many times it is very hard to be productive and being able to achieve the goals that are set forth due to the fact that there are too many things that needs to be done.

Lifehacker published article that How Priorities Make Things Happen. Main theme idea is that by really thinking through what is the real priority that is either do or die can make it easier for people to give visibility of what needs to be done.

It also helps clamping down the meeting as well as achieve productive meetings as quoted from the article:

When there is uncertainty or disagreement, reframe the discussion around the priorities using questions like these.

* What problem are we trying to solve?
* Does this problem relate to our top goals or is it a distraction?
* Is this problem important enough to warrant changing our priorities?
* What is the simplest way to resolve this that will allow us to meet out goals?
* If we're struggling to meet our goals, which goal can we drop down to Priority 2?

Also, setting the proper priorities with good fundamental will involve saying no to many things as shown here.

One effect of having priorities is how often you have to say no. It's one of the smallest words in the English language, yet many people have trouble saying it. The problem is that if you can't say no, you can't have priorities. The universe is a large place, but your priority one list should be very small. That small list means there are thousands of good ideas that must be denied to focus your energy on the ones you've chosen to pursue. If you continually say yes to ideas that do not match your priorities, you are saying yes to failure. If you want to change your priorities, that's one thing, but if you are constantly changing them then they were never priorities at all. You did not think deeply enough about them if, emotionally, they are easy to change every few hours. So a fundamental law is this: if you can't say no, if you can't protect your priorities, you can't make things happen.

12 PR secrets that all startups should know

TechCrunch did it again. They gathered great PR Secrets for Startups as shown in the quote below. Enjoy.

Secret #1
Understand You’re Not the Only Story in Town

Bloggers and reporters are some of the busiest people you could possibly hope to meet. They’re actively looking for the most interesting, relevant, and linkable stories out there, preferably before anyone else can run with it. But truthfully, they spend most of their time hacking through the weeds of generic or over-the-top inbound emails, press releases, Facebook messages, Skypes, SMSes, Tweets, and IMs. It’s almost a small miracle that anyone can ever get their story told.

At the end of the day, you’re not the only company with a great story. Just because your story is new doesn’t make it newsworthy.

Bloggers and journalists are interested in good stories and the more time you spend developing that story up front, for each person you’re trying to reach, the more you can help them help you.

Secret #2
Pick the Right Person or Team to Lead PR.

Your investors or advisors will tell you one of two things, usually starting with “you need PR.” From there, they’ll usually recommend that you either bring on an agency or consultant, one that they’ve worked with and can highly recommend. Or, they’ll suggest that you need to do it yourself (DIY) in order to build relationships with those who are highly respected in your target markets while conserving cash.

While DIY PR sounds good, you’ll quickly learn however, that it takes more time than you think to reach those people. Besides, you have other things to focus on and any good PR program will place you in a position to build relationships with the influencers that matter to your business.

Anyone can write a press release and blast it to a bunch of people. Remember, sometimes you get what you pay for and other times you just get ripped off. So, it’s important that you find the right solution that you can afford, but at the same time, offer your PR team the ability to deliver on the results that are realistic to what you need now.

When you do meet with PR people, evaluate them based on their ability to tell you succinctly who they have represented and pay attention to how well they summarize each company and what they do. Having existing relationships and the ability to show previous results is not optional.

Also quiz them on whether or not they understand the market, tech, benefits and the challenge as it relates to you specifically. If they can’t sell you on your product, how do you expect them to sell it to skeptical bloggers and journalists.

The two most important things to ask a potential PR consultant or agency are 1) do you have the bandwidth required to help us achieve these defined objectives and ? if it’s an agency ? 2) who’s going to work on my account and if it’s not you, can I meet the others on the team as well.

Secret #3
Participation is Marketing

You are equally important to the PR process. It doesn’t hurt to introduce yourself to bloggers or reporters offline and online to start building relationships with influencers who will help craft and guide your company across the market adoption bell curve.

Read and comment on their work. Send a brief intro email before you need anything. Attend one of the many tech networking events in your area to build your social capital, meet those who can help you, and those who you, in turn, can help as well.

Participation is marketing and by actively participating in both the online and real worlds, you forge relationships that will help your brand and social capital grow.

Keep in mind, how you participate, both online and in the real world, also contributes to your brand ? especially in the realm of social media. Comments, social network profiles, blog posts, pictures you share, etc., are all discoverable in traditional search engines and new media search tools.

Secret #4
Identify The Target Audience For Every Step Of Your Growth

Observe and document where you are in the state of the technology and market adoption and determine realistic goals and objectives that will help your business get to the next step. This is an especially important part as it will reveal who your customers are and where they go for information.

Now more than ever, it’s important to realize that there is no “one” audience for your story. Influence is usually a left-to-right process that picks up momentum and mass attention along the way. It fans out in the process.

This step allows you to identify which voices, blogs or media outlets reach your target audiences right now and at every step of your growth (you’ll see that your audience evolves along with your company).

Secret #5
Don’t Launch on Mondays

Pick a news or launch date, say Thursday at 11:30 a.m. PST, and build in a cushion to start talking to the right people under embargo before you roll out. Mondays and early mornings are usually the most congested. Releasing it later will most likely earn greater attention.

A quick note on embargoes and exclusives. Embargoes are a form of sharing news with media where they agree to not publish the news before an agreed upon date/time. Whereas exclusives require that you give your story to one person, and one person only. Choose carefully, as once someone runs with the story; chances are that other newsmakers will pass.

Embargoes and exclusives are not to be manipulated or taken advantage of. You should respect them and the people you’re working with.

Allowing journalists and bloggers adequate time to prepare is critical. They’re busy and they need more than an hour to digest and write a story. Once a press release or the news is made public, they no longer pay attention anyway. Their job (in an ideal world) is to break news, not to rewrite press releases.

Determine which reporters and bloggers should be part of the initial news discussions (under embargo). I’m a huge proponent of the “less is more” embargo strategy to try to 1) demonstrate appreciation for those you want to work with?it should be different with each type of announcement you feel is truly “newsworthy,” according to which audiences the news is best suited; and 2) to reduce or eliminate the chance that someone might break the embargo by running the story early (usually by mistake?sometimes you learn the hard way though.)

Secret #6
No Two Bloggers or Journalists are Created Equal

Do your homework. Once you’ve identified those whom you’d like to work with before and after the news date, make sure that the PR team researches individual preferences for contact before they reach out.

This is about relationships and creating a value cycle from PR to bloggers, journalists and ultimately to the people you want to reach with your news. This hopefully isn’t the last time you’ll reach out to these influeners, so work with them, their way, in order to earn the opportunity to collaborate again.

Relationships are cultivated and should be mutually beneficial as dictated by the extra time the PR team takes to personalize and package the story and align it with their workflow.

Perception is everything. Do the legwork and the outreach that contributes to the reputation you wish to earn and maintain. Anything less takes away from it.

Secret #7
Measure Success, Not Traffic

Establishing metrics at the beginning is important for setting expectations on both sides as well as establishing the bar for performance. Coverage is important but no one can ever predict or guarantee whether or not the blogs or news media you target will cover a particular story. However, establishing a quantity (based on quality) of coverage to shoot for is healthy, as long as you take into consideration an attrition factor.

PR can also be measured by conversations sparked online due to initial coverage, referring traffic as well as registrations and/or downloads. Analysis and measurement will reveal a path for prioritizing your targets now and in the future.

Be realistic in the number of visitors you establish as a metric. Also, make sure the site’s registration or download process is simple and that the messages around it are short and powerful. PR can bring traffic all day long, but if visitors aren’t reminded as to why they’re there or if the process is at all too cumbersome, the conversion ratio of visitors to users will quickly diminish.

Secret #8
Customize the News For Each Influencer to Make His Or Her Job Easier

I’ve been privy to an uncountable array of company pitches and it never ceases to amaze me just how few can actually summarize what they do and why it matters.

Focus on the elevator pitch and make it compelling, memorable, and relevant. Brevity is key.

Make sure to summarize each news announcement with a couple of statements and bullets to quickly showcase why anyone should care. Package the story differently for each person you’re hoping to reach, as each will have different needs. Take the time to pull relevant screen shots, create user accounts for each person if necessary, customize video demos and screencasts, and anything else someone may need to write a story instead of having to spend precious time doing your work for you.

Yes, it’s time consuming. But this is about building individual relationships and not about broadcasting spam.

Secret #9
Get a Spokesperson

This one breaks my heart each and every time. As I mentioned before, I’ve witnessed thousands of startup presentations and a majority are too painful to endure. Company founders are naturally enthusiastic and passionate about their product, but unfortunately, that doesn’t necessarily make them the best spokesperson.

First impressions are everything, and publicly showcasing your company, on stage, online, in print, or via broadcast media, requires nothing less than a polished, personable, and contagious presentation.

As hard as it is to pass the torch, this is one of those times where you really don’t have much of a choice if you’re not absolutely, 100% the best voice of the company. All hope isn’t lost however. You can embrace media and presentation training, and when tied to a tight elevator pitch and convincing messaging platform, you may indeed emerge as the ideal spokesperson for your brand.

Secret #10
Your Company Blog is More Powerful Than You May Think

I’m sure you’ve all read that having a company blog is critical to maintaining communication with your community.

First, don’t under estimate it. Second, don’t over estimate it. A blog is the voice and the soapbox for thought leadership, vision, solutions, milestones, and advice. At the very least, it contributes to the personality of your corporate brand. The best blogs become a resource and a destination, which helps improve your bottom line. For example, Google’s official blog is number 16 in Technorati’s Top 100 list of popular blogs.

In a world of building relationships with bloggers, reporters, analysts, partners and customers, your strategy simply can’t rely on only contacting everyone when you have news. Relationships require cultivation and nurturing. The company blog can help.

Prior to and in between announcements, make sure you’re out there actively commenting on relevant blog posts. But don’t leave short, irrelevant, kiss-ass, or angry comments. Contribute to the value of the conversation and make sure it links back to your blog. Also host relevant conversations on your blog and link out to your most valuable contacts wherever possible. They do pay attention.

Maybe this goes without saying, but I’m going to mention it anyway. Don’t break your news on your own blog!

Like press releases crossing the wire, breaking news on your blog makes the news less valuable if others haven’t yet had an opportunity to break it for you first. It’s like the new car analogy. The value of the car drops the minute you drive it off the lot. Time your post for after when the news breaks and link to everyone who helped cover the story. (Unless, of course, you are Google, in which case you can do whatever you want)

Secret #11
Blogger Relations Extends from the “A-List” to the Magic Middle

Online conversations are distributed and it now requires PR to identify the relevant silos that reach valuable niche markets.

The best communications strategies will envelop not only authorities in new and traditional media, but also those voices in the “Magic Middle” of the attention curve. The Magic Middle, as David Sifry defined it, are the bloggers who have from 20-1000 other people linking to them. It is this group that enables PR people to reach The Long Tail and they help carry information and discussions among your customers directly in a true peer-to-peer approach. And, in many cases, these bloggers are your prospective customers. Their effects on the bottom line are constant and measurable over time.

Secret #12
Follow the Conversations and Join In

As much as media and blogger relations drive traffic and increase your user base, we can’t overlook the importance of social networks such as Facebook, Twitter, Pownce, Jaiku, Digg, Reddit, StumbleUpon, Delicious, Diigo, FriendFeed, Ning, Mixx, Bebo, Get Satisfaction, Google and Yahoo Groups (among many, many others). When executed and managed correctly, and genuinely, the referring numbers can outperform the best articles and posts and the relationships that you create within these networks will prove incredibly valuable throughout the life of your company.

This isn’t about promotion or social network spam. This is about dialog driven by the insight you garner from listening to and reading the people who are talking about your company ? with or without your direct participation.

Try searching for your company, product, or competitor’s name in any of the above networks or any other social network, to see how they’re being discussed. By researching individual conversations, threads, and/or groups, you’ll find strategic points of entry across the board. This does take time, and may prove too overwhelming for you to run individually. Hiring a community manager or empowering your PR team to do so is a great place to start, that way they can point you to the conversations that require your attention or handle them directly.

Listening is as important as publishing. The best listeners make the best conversationalists. Make sure to keep a Google Alert for your company, spokespersons, and products. Reading and responding is critical to managing perceptions, sharing expertise, and building loyalty.

There’s no question, you have to compete for attention and in order to do so effectively and genuinely, you need someone who can help tell your story, the right way, through the people who reach your customers. It’s not an overnight process and it’s not something to “be gamed.” It’s a process of investing in, building and leveraging relationships now and in the long term. And yes, if you do things right, bloggers, reporters, and analysts will want to talk to you about your company and vision along the way.

Twisted Funniest Job Descriptions

JobMob put together what Scott Adams have collected through comments of his blog.

Enjoy...

50 Funniest Short Job Descriptions Ever

My Job Is To…

1. Read things that don’t matter, then write papers saying they do
   matter, for points that don’t matter, in order to get a job doing
   something totally unrelated: Student
2. Take numbers on pieces of paper, rearrange them and put them on different pieces of paper: Tax Accountant
3. Explain big words to sales people and then cower before customers
   while trying to convince them that the sales people really didn’t say
   what the customers understood: Customer Solutions Engineer
4. Learn laws created ages ago so that I can tell engineers why I’m
   smarter than they are while complaining how it’s a travesty that they
   get paid more: Physics major
5. Show you innovative ways to burn money in the spirit of patriotism: Fireworks Stand Manager
6. Help people lie consistently to their bosses: Business Intelligence Consultant
7. Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher
8. Pass poisonous gas on command: Research Assistant in solid state ammonia storage
9. Make people who are already filthy rich somewhat richer by duping
   poor people into buying stuff they don’t need: Corporate Software
   Engineer
10. Find as many synonyms for “explosion” as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
11. Supervise the guys and gals who try to protect the good people from
    the bad, only to be hated by the good people AND the bad: Police
    Sergeant
12. Make corporate propaganda feel like folksy truthisms: TV Ad Director
13. Manage waste recycling, promotion &amp; sales: Antiques Dealer
14. Arrive after the battle and bayonet all the wounded: Auditor
15. Sell gas: Energy and Telecom Business Analyst
16. Tell forty year-old men it’s okay to behave like fourteen year-old school girls: Printing Press Production Coordinator
17. Provide arcane information on a need-to-know basis: Chief Accountant
18. Shepherd clients through the process of setting their products on fire: Consumer Products Tester
19. Manage urban renewal and pest control: B-52 Bomber pilot
20. Persuade kids that it’s really fun being wet, cold and scared out of their minds: Sailing Instructor
21. Draw up plans for something that will not be built according to those plans: Civil Engineer, Transportation Design
22. Teach kids to be evil…or so they say: Video Game Creator
23. Ensure that stupid people stay in the gene pool: Lifeguard
24. Spend most of the day looking out the window: Pilot
25. Wear a tuxedo and smash metal plates into each other: Musician
26. Go to strange people’s houses and take their money: Pizza Delivery Boy
27. Sell gluttony: Cinema Concession Stand Attendant
28. Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
29. Take pictures of the unlucky and the stupid: X-ray Technician
30. Profit from the misfortunes of others: Cops and Courts Reporter
31. Take a simple two-way promise and turn it into several complicated
    one-way promises which neither side can understand or hope to fulfill:
    Lawyer
32. Bring a little rain into the lives of flood victims: Government Debt Collector
33. Have people spend far more than they estimated: Building Inspector
34. Make sure nothing ever happens: IT Security
35. Move things from one tube to another: Microbiologist
36. Try not to kill the baby: Housewife
37. Misinterpret the universe: Astronomer
38. Be a human napkin: Stay-at-home mom of three
39. Run away and call the police: Security Guard
40. Copy and paste the Internet: Student

The Top 10

1. Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer (Scott Adams’ favorite)
2. Stand on a field and get yelled at for hours: Baseball Umpire
3. Talk in other people’s sleep: College Professor
4. Call people who know what they’re doing and ask them what they’re doing: Incident Manager
5. Show people how beautiful the Earth would be without them: Mountain Landscape Photographer/Climber
6. Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester
7. Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break: IT Director
8. Clean up an animal that makes more money then me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
9. Write words that no one wants to read: Technical Writer
10. Make food that is as healthy before it goes in your body as when it comes back out: Fast Food Employee